I would like to apologize for my lack of posts on this site that mainly has to do with the massive increase in school related work that has taken over my life.
Over my Thanksgiving break I plan to read some more books and actually make posts to put up on the site.
Until then I leave this because I am trying to do things.
Make sure your sexuality is the last thing you describe yourself as because you’re so much more than what you put in your mouth.
Recently, I have been thinking about my own and others sexuality. When I was in high school, my best friend came out to everyone as bisexual. At the time I didn’t quite understand. I believe this was mainly because of my misunderstanding of my own sexuality, but also because of my small town upbringing in the south. While my mother often stated that there was nothing wrong with being homosexual and confronted me once because she believed I was a lesbian, I can remember her making off hand comments about clothing and that she would not allow myself or my siblings to dress a certain way because it could be seen as “homosexual”. We’d watch documentaries about sexuality together and my parents would comment that they did not believe in bisexuality or asexuality. It just couldn’t be possible. How could someone not just pick one sex to desire or not even desire a sex to begin with?
So, when my friend came out I felt surprised, and it took me a while to get past my own prejudice. My own sexuality was more difficult to understand. I can vividly remember the day my mother asked me if I was a lesbian. It was hard to not be surprised at the time, however, thinking back, it’s pretty easy to see why she thought I was. I never really had a boyfriend in middle or high school that my family knew about. I found interacting with others difficult, especially guys. My inability to find any one, apart from my first crush, attractive frighten me. He was the only person I desired romantically or sexually. Often I’ll think about how difficult this is for me, and I become stuck, unable to feel anything besides confusion and annoyance. In a way, I have given up trying to label myself and my sexuality. I go with heterosexual when asked, but that isn’t quite right in the end.